After last night, I could never be a politician.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
