a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Drunk walkin through police station. America
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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