if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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