every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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