Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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