Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
