then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
