He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
