I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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