I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
