Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize