Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize