So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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