Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize