Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
