If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
