the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize