We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
