Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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