is your mom at the bar?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
