My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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