BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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