if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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