Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
