I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
