if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
