i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
