how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
