So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
