wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
