So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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