So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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