My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
