something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The Olympian is in my bed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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