For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
