yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
