everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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