youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
