It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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