How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
