His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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