you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
