I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
