Me too!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
