is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
