sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
