dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.