oh god the rape fog is back!
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids