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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.

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• (239): View more from Florida

  I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.

  (239): View more from Florida

  I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga

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  These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.

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• (518): View more from New York

  i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you

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• (502): View more from Kentucky

  He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...

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• (214): View more from Texas

  This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.

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  25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Oh and I'm kind of in the library.

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.

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• (212): View more from New York

  him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I think his dick was bigger than his dog

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...

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