You're a womanizer and a bitch.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
