Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.