dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
4 words: hood of his car
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?