is your mom at the bar?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize