She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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