Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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