I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
