Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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