This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
