Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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