just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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