His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
