You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
