worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize