yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
