Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
