i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
